I recently read a December 2010 article in the New York Times (which I love) on college education and whether or not the cost of going to an elite school is actually worth it. As someone who is fortunate enough to find himself at a college, that while not elitist per say, is still definitely pricey, it got me to wondering about how one should go about choosing a college. First, if you plan on going to college, you want to go to a school that will accept you, but there are actually more of those than not, so really you want a school that has the program for you. This is actually harder to determine than just looking through catalogs because of the third criteria: a college that fits your personality. If you do not personally identify with having certain tendencies (i.e.- elitist, competitive, liberal, conservative, vocational) then it wouldn’t be a smart move to apply to one of those schools.
After whittling down your choices to no more than 10, go through and investigate their personalities. Inevitably, for you to have gotten this far in the college selection process, it is advised that you have a clearer picture of who you are and what you at least hope to get out of life, than not. This is where the real homework comes in, because ultimately what makes a college experience work is understanding that you are about to embark on a relationship with not just another person (which can be difficult enough), but with an entity larger and with a more storied history than yourself. Given this immense reality, the question becomes, where can I go and be best needed?
The truth about relationships is they are most dynamic and effective when you are needed as much as you need. The same is applicable to finding the right college: you want is a college that needs you as much as you need it. Despite all of the drama, frustration, and crazy memories experienced with my college, I still love it. Part of that frustration was only there because (like child with a difficult to deal with parent), I could see what needed to be done for the college, but as a lowly student I was powerless to actually realize those dreams for the college. I was trying to move the overgrown houseplant of an idea out of my mind with no help from the outside.
Part of the reason why the college was in no way able to heed my grand, but necessary wishes for it is because, in part, they too were trying to give to me. The college was understandably focused on making sure I learned what I needed to learn in order to help them in the future. We were on the same page, but reading different sentences. We were saying the same thing in different languages, or at least using different words. Even if you find a place that has a perfectly reciprocal relationship with you, no school will actually be perfect. (Perfect schooling happens with a private tutor- and even then). That is why becoming an alum of the college is so important- it allows you to fulfill your end of the bargain in a grander way than you ever could have as a student.
Find a college that needs you, but not too badly (you cannot fix everything). Be careful not to try and change the personality of the school in your attempt to give back. That is why it is so important to do that research early. You do that research well enough and trust me, you will not be applying to 8, 10, or even 14 schools. That’s ridiculous and unnecessary. Know yourself and you will find your college. Find your college and you will be able to give back to it. That is what is important: needing and being needed.
To answer the article’s question: Is going to an expensive college worth it? Honestly, colleges don’t force you to attend them. Therefore, I’d say, it’s not about the money, it’s about the personality. The real question is: Is it worth it to go to a college that is not you and therefore does not need you? No. To do so is to try and change something that is too established to change in any fundamental way. To do so is not your responsibility. The same is true of friends by the way. Don’t try and change your friends, accept them for who they are and if who they are is too fundamentally different from whom you are then you need to find other friends. Match up purpose with purpose not purpose with problem. Find a college who personality and purpose is more in line with your own than not. Do that and the experience, good and bad, will be worth it, whatever price.
"Live Excellently"
-J:)
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